Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
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I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
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He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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