I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize