The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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