is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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