I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize