Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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