Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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