omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
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I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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