I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize