You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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