I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
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She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
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So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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