were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
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well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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