her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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