Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize