I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize