420 ftw
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize