I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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