Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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