Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize