Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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