WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
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