Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
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In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
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We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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