the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize