cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
All I want is dick and wine.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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