She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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