Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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