it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize