he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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