I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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