He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize