I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
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maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
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They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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