I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
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i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
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We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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