My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize