Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Couch. On fire.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize