I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize