I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
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