i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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