You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
soo... how was my night?
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