wat bout pragnant strippers??
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Randomize