its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize