We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize