you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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