I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
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I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
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He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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