Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
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My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
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I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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