You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize