I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him Oral-B. enough said
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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