also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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