Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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