come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize