fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
These tits shall not be calmed
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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